


Vulcan Shit Storm

by Holy_Leonards



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack, Kissing, M/M, poo - Freeform, poo warnings, poop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 09:20:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3645006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock has a problem that needs fixing before the imminent Klingon battle</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vulcan Shit Storm

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pastel_poisons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastel_poisons/gifts).



> This is my first piece of Star Trek fan fiction. It is dedicated to my one true gay love, Jack <3

The USS Enterprise was on its way to answer a distress call from one of the nearby federation planets. There was a Klingon attack and it looked like it was gonna be a big fight. All hands were on deck getting prepared for the action that was about to take place. Everyone needed to be in perfect working order to combat the powerful Klingon menace. The problam was, Spock was far from perfect working order. 

The Vulcan's alien bowels had not been able to make a movement for some time and he was starting to get very worried. He was too embarrassed of his problem to mention it to McCoy, so, he decided to go right to the one man that he could trust, the captain himself. 

Kirk was exercising in his quarters when he heard a faint knock on the door. “Come in.” He said and the Vulcan slipped inside as the door quickly opened and closed. “Mr. Spock I didn't think I would be seeing you here” said Kirk to the paler than normal first officer. “Jim, I have a problem that may need to be solved in an illogical manner.” Spock said, looking down at his captain's fine, nippless chest. “Oh really” Said Kirk, smiling at the thought of Spock admitting to something illogical. Maybe he would even get a little emotion out of him for kicks. “I have been plagued with an internal issue that I need sorted out before the counter efforts against the Klingons.” Spock said to his increasingly attractive best friend. “I think our good doctor can fix you right up.” Said Kirk. “No, captain. I don't want to admit it, but I am slightly...embarrassed to admit that I have this problem to the doctor. I was hoping you would be able to help me fix it.” Said Spock. Kirk's mouth widened into an infinitely wide grin at the sound of Spock stating an emotion. “Spock you have no reason to feel embarrassed about any medical issue. I'm sure that McCoy would understand and handle the situation in a purely professional and logical manner.” Said Kirk, trying to comfort the sad little alien man. “I wish to have the issue fixed in the comfort of your quarters and with nobody else but you, Jim.” Said Spock. His use of Kirk's name alerted him that he really wanted to have him fix the problem and maybe even do a little more. 

“Alright Spock, what seems to be the issue that you need me to help you with?” Asked Kirk. “For some time now I have not been able to...move certain amounts of waste matter from a certain personal space of mine.” Said Spock. “What do you mean by that?” Asked Kirk, confused. “I can't seem to get rid of some dark matter from a deep spcae.” Spokc replied. Kirk thought about it for a minute and then responded, “OH! You mean you can't take a dump! You're constipated aren't you Spock?” “I would appreciate if you would speak of it a little quieter.” Said Spock. “Ah yes constipation. You know there is only one way a fully aroused Vulcan would want that fixed.” Said Kirk. What does he mean by fully aroused Vulcan? Thought Spock as he looked down to see his alien rod pushing its way out of his pants. “You want me to help things along a little by pumping it out the old fashioned way. Well, Spock, I can fix you right up.” Said Kirk as he started to pull his pants down.

Spock's heart was racing as he saw that the captain was slowly getting hard. Spock started to take his clothes off and the two of them embraced each other. They started roughly kissing each other and ensuring that they were both as hard as the material that made up the ship's hull before they decided to work at Spock's problem. “Slow down Spock I need to get a little protection to make sure the little captain here doesn't get any kind of strange Vulcan infenction.” Said Kirk. “I am not a dirty Vulcan!” Yelled Spock. He was hurt to think that the captian thought he had some kind of disease. “I've heard horror stories of what Vulcan blood can do to a man and I intend to make sure that we are both healthy to fight off the Klingons and be able to do this again in the future.” Kirk said with a wink. Spock calmed down realizing the logic in the captain's thinking. 

Kirk got a condom out of his bedside stand and put it on his raging boner. Then Spock bent over the captain's bed and spread his Vulcan cheeks wide for easy access. Kirk made his way over and slowly slipped his cock inside of Spock's gaping hole. Jim started pumping very slowly in order to work Spock a little and loosen him up. He slowly increased the speed as he felt the alien's hole get looser and looser. Soon he was going as fast as he could with Spock just gritting his teeth through the whole thing. Then came the signal. “HUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHNNNNNNGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHUAUAUAUAUAGGGGGMALIKALIKA!!!!!!” Cried the Vulcan as Kirk pulled out and a huge line of alien shit flew from Spock's asshole and splattered against the wall of Kirk's room. 

Soon the room was filling with the vile stench of Spock's excriment. “Jesus Christ Spock what eh hell do you eat?” Cried Kirk as he plugged his nose and grabbed a towel to try to wipe as much of the orange poop off of the wall as he could. Spock just laid there in full embarrassment. His cheeks a dark green. Kirk cleaned it all up himself and sprayed three whole cans of air freshener just to start to eliminate the smell. “I am deeply sorry, captian.” Siad Spock. “No need Spock. At least we are now ready to repel that Klingon attack and we have broken the ice.” They both sat on the bed and hugged for what felt like hours before Spock made his way back to his quarters to continue his preparations.


End file.
